miércoles, junio 04, 2008

Parte II: Thoughts Of A Scared Mind (En Ingles)

Otro escrito de esa epoca. Que por lo que le pregunte a la primera persona que lo leyo antes de publicar, pertence a mi Dark Time in Life jeje. Opinen ustedes (contiene mil errores ortograficos, y no pienso corregirlo debido a amor nostalgico pasado).


Thoughts of a scared mind

its like hell inside my head

like a thousand raisors chasing me

a world full of lies and cheats

its all fake and without a hand i'm falling

i thought I had that hand

but in the end it seems the hand has vanished



once I felt asleep

I was in a world with no lies

you were there, but you seem to walked away from me

each time I see you, you run away

then i awake and look around

i realized i am dead now

at least there is no lies in here

but neither a hand just a knife

and its been cutting life' soul

since that day when you appear

its like a thousand knifes into my heart

now i know why



i never complained about you

the lies seem like they ocuppied the space that our love didn't

you say i live in a fantasy world, when i am in m closet

i feel you knocking to break in

i feel fear entering my brain, but i have to hold on

after many thoughts i realized you never weren't there

just the image of you in my eyes

now i should forget and the scar...

thats just a heart, that is just the door opening

and what i see now is no you

its a hand lifting me



its hell out there

there are no streets just paths into people's heads

i see myself walking those paths

and i see the limit of what they talk about

where the broken hearts become asasins and murders

they sream for help but no one can hear them

thats why they say love is dangerous

it can destroy you as much as you can't see that limit and fall

but its no dark, its so clear you can see ground

its like heaven

like they are now free, free they passed life test

not death, not reborn, just be forgotten



some say that if you see a person deep in there eyes

you see what they really are

in a person with no hand, you see lust, death, and even hapiness

hapiness isn't always what everybody thinks

it's just knowing yourself to the bottom

in the path of death you get to know every part of yourself

and even there you wont be happy

so we ask ourselfs why are they happy and we don't

maybe there heart is so broken that they don't feel anymore

and the hand that was supposed to rescue them is now a knife

they are not murders

they are just running, they are just scared



i wish i can find a way to dissapear

since that day things seem to make me loose control

i need to brake apart and try to breath

im just scared, but i need you to shut up and listen

im walking towards and edge

i know i'll fall

but my legs seem to have a mind

i am miguel's legs, we aren't scared

we are just trying to fall

i am miguel's brain,

forgetting is no avaliable

death is an option

move on and hold in





I had to fall, i had to lose it all

i tried so hard, time changes

also stuff, it is not as it used to be

i have thought if a murder is my future

if in the end all should be forgotten

i have walked so far

now i am here i am scared of not knowing

if there’s a hand down there to push me away

or if there a knife waiting for me to look myself in my eyes

and find what went wrong

everything you said to me, the edge is close

i am now hopping the end is close

I’m falling with no doubt there is an end



waked up, it was so cold

my feet touched the ground

but it was dark

now i see you, even if I closed my eyes

but you still are so distant

tearing everything inside

no matter how far are you

i can't wait to get to you

and find out why i didn't fall enough





i was lost in the nothing

nowhere, there are no places here

i wanna hear, i wanna feel

like i am closed to the end

there is no real o fiction here

it is just cold and clear

i see a blur picture in the end

as i came closer y became better

when i got there, i knew

he was a keeper, a black cloud over him

told me everything

he was no angel

no person

i am miguel's fear he said

i have escaped your mind

as my body fell into ground

i sream

you tried to take the best of me

go away!

i hard punch told me i was on the ground

the knife finally catch me

i have fall to the end



i never woke up


i am miguel's fear

i have no body, I’m just a shadow in the

clear and fearless ground

the cloud that follows me is the force

of miguel's soul fighting not to fall anymore

what i do here, you're asking

i'll be here walking to the end-edge

not to fall

not to free myself

just to fear myself

in the way down to here i've found my own fear

    I fear not to be able to have fear

happiness is no more a part of me

what keeps me alive is the memory of falling

and knowing i'm still falling but not down

I don't know were



I never stopped falling

that gave me time to think

in what miguel never could

it is not he didn't want to

I never let him

fear can cause all

I thought about you

I just needed someone to hear me

I didn't spect you to  know what I had to do

I just did what you told me to do

I am still in fear



it is impossible for me to be with you

every since I saw you for the first time

all my senses collapse

my heart stopped beating

and my brain stopped thinking

I always dreamed about kissing your body

Every inch of it

Make love to you

Enjoying every second

Love you and fall together



loose control, forget movement
break away from the walls of our mind
feel your warm body, been pushed towards mine
instants like that one, were lost

shhh… I feel it coming, hide out!

Momently I fund myself in a room with no roof
a place with no guardian

An island in the middle of home

In the middle of minds

But ………………I lost control

I waked up again…

I was not able to tell this was a dream or not

That is not the biggest problem,

What is important here is that

Love is the only feeling that wont die nor fall



Now I reach the end, I just ask the end

To hold on to me when I love

To take care of my brain responds to love only

To embrace my soul when the only part of the

Real me become ashes………..

As I became closer to understand where I was

I became to realize that every part of this journey

Was a life’s test to make me capable of loving

Now I understand why I can’t love

……………my heart was broken so many times

the piece of heart love was supposed to use is no more than