Otro escrito de esa epoca. Que por lo que le pregunte a la primera persona que lo leyo antes de publicar, pertence a mi Dark Time in Life jeje. Opinen ustedes (contiene mil errores ortograficos, y no pienso corregirlo debido a amor nostalgico pasado).
Thoughts of a scared mind
its like hell inside my head
like a thousand raisors chasing me
a world full of lies and cheats
its all fake and without a hand i'm falling
i thought I had that hand
but in the end it seems the hand has vanished
once I felt asleep
I was in a world with no lies
you were there, but you seem to walked away from me
each time I see you, you run away
then i awake and look around
i realized i am dead now
at least there is no lies in here
but neither a hand just a knife
and its been cutting life' soul
since that day when you appear
its like a thousand knifes into my heart
now i know why
i never complained about you
the lies seem like they ocuppied the space that our love didn't
you say i live in a fantasy world, when i am in m closet
i feel you knocking to break in
i feel fear entering my brain, but i have to hold on
after many thoughts i realized you never weren't there
just the image of you in my eyes
now i should forget and the scar...
thats just a heart, that is just the door opening
and what i see now is no you
its a hand lifting me
its hell out there
there are no streets just paths into people's heads
i see myself walking those paths
and i see the limit of what they talk about
where the broken hearts become asasins and murders
they sream for help but no one can hear them
thats why they say love is dangerous
it can destroy you as much as you can't see that limit and fall
but its no dark, its so clear you can see ground
its like heaven
like they are now free, free they passed life test
not death, not reborn, just be forgotten
some say that if you see a person deep in there eyes
you see what they really are
in a person with no hand, you see lust, death, and even hapiness
hapiness isn't always what everybody thinks
it's just knowing yourself to the bottom
in the path of death you get to know every part of yourself
and even there you wont be happy
so we ask ourselfs why are they happy and we don't
maybe there heart is so broken that they don't feel anymore
and the hand that was supposed to rescue them is now a knife
they are not murders
they are just running, they are just scared
i wish i can find a way to dissapear
since that day things seem to make me loose control
i need to brake apart and try to breath
im just scared, but i need you to shut up and listen
im walking towards and edge
i know i'll fall
but my legs seem to have a mind
i am miguel's legs, we aren't scared
we are just trying to fall
i am miguel's brain,
forgetting is no avaliable
death is an option
move on and hold in
I had to fall, i had to lose it all
i tried so hard, time changes
also stuff, it is not as it used to be
i have thought if a murder is my future
if in the end all should be forgotten
i have walked so far
now i am here i am scared of not knowing
if there’s a hand down there to push me away
or if there a knife waiting for me to look myself in my eyes
and find what went wrong
everything you said to me, the edge is close
i am now hopping the end is close
I’m falling with no doubt there is an end
waked up, it was so cold
my feet touched the ground
but it was dark
now i see you, even if I closed my eyes
but you still are so distant
tearing everything inside
no matter how far are you
i can't wait to get to you
and find out why i didn't fall enough
i was lost in the nothing
nowhere, there are no places here
i wanna hear, i wanna feel
like i am closed to the end
there is no real o fiction here
it is just cold and clear
i see a blur picture in the end
as i came closer y became better
when i got there, i knew
he was a keeper, a black cloud over him
told me everything
he was no angel
no person
i am miguel's fear he said
i have escaped your mind
as my body fell into ground
i sream
you tried to take the best of me
go away!
i hard punch told me i was on the ground
the knife finally catch me
i have fall to the end
i never woke up
i am miguel's fear
i have no body, I’m just a shadow in the
clear and fearless ground
the cloud that follows me is the force
of miguel's soul fighting not to fall anymore
what i do here, you're asking
i'll be here walking to the end-edge
not to fall
not to free myself
just to fear myself
in the way down to here i've found my own fear
I fear not to be able to have fear
happiness is no more a part of me
what keeps me alive is the memory of falling
and knowing i'm still falling but not down
I don't know were
I never stopped falling
that gave me time to think
in what miguel never could
it is not he didn't want to
I never let him
fear can cause all
I thought about you
I just needed someone to hear me
I didn't spect you to know what I had to do
I just did what you told me to do
I am still in fear
it is impossible for me to be with you
every since I saw you for the first time
all my senses collapse
my heart stopped beating
and my brain stopped thinking
I always dreamed about kissing your body
Every inch of it
Make love to you
Enjoying every second
Love you and fall together
loose control, forget movement
break away from the walls of our mind
feel your warm body, been pushed towards mine
instants like that one, were lost
shhh… I feel it coming, hide out!
Momently I fund myself in a room with no roof
a place with no guardian
An island in the middle of home
In the middle of minds
But ………………I lost control
I waked up again…
I was not able to tell this was a dream or not
That is not the biggest problem,
What is important here is that
Love is the only feeling that wont die nor fall
Now I reach the end, I just ask the end
To hold on to me when I love
To take care of my brain responds to love only
To embrace my soul when the only part of the
Real me become ashes………..
As I became closer to understand where I was
I became to realize that every part of this journey
Was a life’s test to make me capable of loving
Now I understand why I can’t love
……………my heart was broken so many times
the piece of heart love was supposed to use is no more than
ashes….